Only Love Can Break Your Heart
Til death do us part' loses some of its meaning in a zombie apocalypse. Cast * Jody Marsh * Sam Yao * Owen Landis * Travis * Kefilwe Lobatse Plot To The Pylon Runner 4 has dragged you along to meet with Owen and clear out a zombie nest at a manor house near a New Canton outpost. Etchings Sam notices the rose petals and candles lining the path. Runner 4 was right to be skeptical; Owen clearly wanted her to come alone for a reason. Zombie Nest Sam teases Doctor Lobatse as you navigate the manor house’s gardens. The conversation between Runner 4 and Owen is piped through your headset. Heading For The House Sam can’t get in touch with Runner 4 or Owen to warn them about the zombies. You must return to the house and tell them in person. A Back Way Out You arrive just in time and barricade the door, but that doesn’t prevent the zoms from crashing through the windows. Owen says he knows a back way out. Follow Me A concussion grenade goes off, keeping the zombies at bay as you escape. Your mysterious rescuer requests that you follow him to safety. In Absentia Once the zoms are gone, he handcuffs Runner 4 and informs her that she is under arrest for murder, and will be sentenced to death on her return to Abel. Transcript SAM YAO: It’s just, well, you know, I’m not entirely sure why you’re here. JODY MARSH: I invited Runner Five along, Sam. Bit of company on the road. That’s not a problem, is it? KEFILWE LOBATSE: Of course not. You have Runner Five and Sam has me. The more, the merrier! SAM YAO: But I’m happier on my own. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Oh, you say that, but you were glad I was here yesterday when Runner Sixteen choked on that Bounty bar, and I had to talk Runner Two through the Heimlich maneuver. SAM YAO: I would have remembered how to do it eventually! Alright, guys, left at the red barn, and you might want to hurry while you’re going through that field. I mean, only if you don’t want to get gored by the huge bull at the other end of it. KEFILWE LOBATSE: I think that might be a cow rather than a bull? SAM YAO: It was a joke! KEFILWE LOBATSE: Of course! laughs Silly me. I was taking things so seriously. I should take a leaf out of your book, Sam, you have such fun! and/or bull moos JODY MARSH: So what are we doing, exactly? SAM YAO: Killing time, basically. JODY MARSH: Brilliant! That really sounds worth risking our lives for. SAM YAO: Ah, no, it’s just, it’s going to be a while before we finish coming through all that Comansys material Runner Five brought back and uh, checking out those rendezvous points. While that’s going on, it’s back to zombie-killing business as usual. And Owen said he’s found a nest over at that big manor house out by Beauchamps and Peter. There’s a New Canton outpost near there, and he was worried they might attract the zoms. That’s why he asked you to come and help him clear them out, Jody. JODY MARSH: Yeah, right. KEFILWE LOBATSE: You don’t think the zoms might attack the settlement? JODY MARSH: I don’t think there are any zoms. SAM YAO: Why on earth would Owen say there are if there aren’t? JODY MARSH: Who knows why he does anything? Come on, Five. Race you to the pylon. SAM YAO: Is that – I mean, obviously, it can’t be – but is that road strewn with rose petals? Like, hundreds and thousands of rose petals? JODY MARSH: Yeah, it is. SAM YAO: And are those – no, I mean, this is ridiculous, clearly – are those candles lining the driveway? JODY MARSH: Yeah. Cinnamon-scented. It clashes with the smell of the roses. SAM YAO: And Owen knew you’d have to come this way to get to the manor house. It’s the only route, right? JODY MARSH: Yeah, he knew. KEFILWE LOBATSE: My goodness. Is that young man sweet on you? JODY MARSH: Don’t sound so surprised! I am a bit of a catch. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Of course you are! You’re a charming young woman. Only you do rather give the impression of despising Owen. JODY MARSH: I don’t despise him. It’s only, he’s so keen, you know, and I just don’t fancy him. That’s allowed, isn’t it? music plays SAM YAO: Is that? It is, it’s music. Classical music coming from inside the mansion house. Jody, I don’t want to jump to conclusions or anything, but is it possible Owen thought this was a date? JODY MARSH: Maybe. KEFILWE LOBATSE: And you invited Runner Five along. JODY MARSH: Yeah. SAM YAO: snorts Awkward… JODY MARSH: It’ll be fine! The more, the merrier, right, Doctor Lobatse? SAM YAO: Look, there’s Owen, waiting in his doorway. The doorway someone’s twined honeysuckle all around! JODY MARSH: It’s not funny, Sam! SAM YAO: He’s just spotted Runner Five! Aw, poor Owen. His face fell a mile. OWEN LANDIS: Runner Five! Wasn’t expecting you, mate. Lucky you came along, though! I think I heard a noise at the other end of the grounds. Could be those zoms I was talking about. Can you go and check it while me and Jody, uh… SAM YAO: Look at your etchings! SAM YAO: Mind that ornamental hedge, Five. Could be thorny. KEFILWE LOBATSE: And do watch out for the ha-ha. SAM YAO: snorts The what now? KEFILWE LOBATSE: Ha-ha. It’s a grassy slope. SAM YAO: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to hear you say “ha-ha” again. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Oh, you’re teasing me. SAM YAO: No, I’m not. OWEN LANDIS: I’m really glad you came, Jody. JODY MARSH: You said there were zoms? OWEN LANDIS: Well, who says there aren’t? KEFILWE LOBATSE: Should we really be eavesdropping? SAM YAO: Well, if they didn’t want us to overhear, they shouldn’t have left their headsets on. JODY MARSH: You could have just asked me out. OWEN LANDIS: But you’d have said no. JODY MARSH: So you thought hanging the whole place with flowers and candles would change my mind? OWEN LANDIS: I just wanted to make an effort! Anyway, the flowers and candles were already here. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s like fate set it up specially for us! JODY MARSH: The flowers are decaying, and there’s rotten food on the tables. Oh, and I can see a coach and horses out of the window. A coach and two dead, maggoty horses. OWEN LANDIS: Well, yeah, but it is the thought that counts. JODY MARSH: Not when that thought is, “I’m going to do everything possible to convince a woman who isn’t interested to go out with me.” Owen, really. Why me? OWEN LANDIS: Come on, Jody. You’re gorgeous, you’re funny, you knit like a demon! You’re great. JODY MARSH: And you’re handsome and kind and generous, but I’m just not feeling it. I’m sorry! OWEN LANDIS: Oh. JODY MARSH: I’ve seen the way that New Canton Runner Twenty-three looks at you, though. OWEN LANDIS: But she’s not really my – feed turns off SAM YAO: Why’d you do that? Just when it was getting interesting! KEFILWE LOBATSE: I thought Runner Five might want to concentrate. SAM YAO: On what? KEFILWE LOBATSE: Well, I could be mistaken, but isn’t there movement under those trees? The ones Runner Five is heading straight towards? SAM YAO: Ah, oh yeah, there is. Well-spotted. Uh, Five, I think Owen might not actually have been lying about that zombie nest. Ah, run! growl SAM YAO: Ah, it’s no good. I’ve been shouting and shouting, but Jody and Owen aren’t replying. I think he made her take their headset off. I can’t believe he’d be so stupid! KEFILWE LOBATSE: Perhaps he suspected you were eavesdropping. SAM YAO: I’m sorry, Five. You’re going to have to go back to the house to warn them. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Is it safe? I can see another group of zoms closing in from the left. They’re - is it my imagination, or is the one in front wearing a white dress and a veil? SAM YAO: Yeah. The ones behind are all in morning suits. The lead zombie’s still got his top hat on. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Oh. Oh dear. Coming out of that gazebo, I think those may be - SAM YAO: Oh, little zombie bridesmaids! KEFILWE LOBATSE: And I believe that must be the matron of honor clutching a rotting bouquet. I do find wedding traditions quite fascinating. In Botswana, it’s custom to - SAM YAO: Not now! The zombie groom’s just met up with the zombie ushers and the zombie page boy – oh, he’s still got the ring on a little cushion! - anyway, they’re all heading for the house. If they get there before Five, and Jody and Owen don’t know they’re coming - KEFILWE LOBATSE: Keep running, Five, as fast as you can! moan, door shuts OWEN LANDIS: Runner Five, what are you doing back? JODY MARSH: And why are you barricading the door? SAM YAO: Five, their headsets are on the table. Can you – yeah, yeah, that’s it. Owen, Jody, there are hundred and hundreds of zoms outside. JODY MARSH: Oh God! I can see them through the window. Is that - ? SAM YAO: Yup. Zombie wedding party. OWEN LANDIS: Guess that explains all the flowers and food. JODY MARSH: Bloody hell, Owen. What a great place to pick for a date. Really, it’s going straight in my Top Three Romantic Getaways. shatters OWEN LANDIS: What was that? KEFILWE LOBATSE: I’m afraid they’ve broken in through the French windows. OWEN LANDIS: It’s okay. There’s a back way out. Follow me. JODY MARSH: I never knew you could run so fast in a wedding dress. How the hell is she doing? She looks like gray meringue. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Are you sure you know the way out, Owen? I don’t mean to doubt, but you’re about to run past the wedding cake for the third time. OWEN LANDIS: I can’t help it! This whole place is like a bloody maze. KEFILWE LOBATSE: The bride and groom are right behind you. Their hands are – good Lord, they’re holding hands! That is actually quite sweet. OWEN LANDIS: Why didn’t I bring a weapon? SAM YAO: Yeah, why didn’t you bring a weapon? JODY MARSH: There’s a knife stuck in the wedding cake. Runner Five, if you can grab it and - splatter SAM YAO: Nicely done! Both hands at once! But I can see the house on long-range cams, and there’s more zoms closing in all the time. I can’t believe like, how many guests they had at this wedding. Must have cost them a fortune. JODY MARSH: Yeah, and look at them now. That’s why you should never get married. SAM YAO: What, because the entire wedding party’ll get turned into shambling undead at the start of the zombie apocalypse? Yeah, that might be a bit of a one-off. OWEN LANDIS: I see it! The exit’s through that arch made out of mistletoe. JODY MARSH: Honestly, did these guys ever meet a wedding cliche they didn’t like? KEFILWE LOBATSE: There are an awful lot of zoms. Are you sure? SAM YAO: It’s the only way out. JODY MARSH: Five, you go first, you’ve got the knife. Yeah, take that, you gray bastards - ! splatters OWEN LANDIS: What the hell was that? TRAVIS: Concussion grenade. Follow me. It won’t knock them out for long. JODY MARSH: And who the hell are you? TRAVIS: Hurry! TRAVIS: Down here, along the stream. OWEN LANDIS: I’m only wearing trainers. My feet are getting soaked. JODY MARSH: And it’s freezing cold. We could get chilblains. TRAVIS: Zoms are scent hunters. Water’ll confuse your trail. SAM YAO: I don’t mean to be rude, but could you ask this man who he uh, like, actually is? TRAVIS: My name’s Travis, Mister Yao. I’m here on Ministry business. SAM YAO: Oh. He can hear me. TRAVIS: Headset’s tuned to your frequency. I heard about the tight hole your runners had landed in. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Well, it was terribly kind of you to help out. SAM YAO: And you’re right, the stream did confuse the trail. The zoms are way behind you. I think you’re home free. TRAVIS: Good. Then it’s time to do this. jingle OWEN LANDIS: Uh, mate, what are you doing with those handcuffs? JODY MARSH: Oi! Get off me! TRAVIS: Jody Marsh, I am placing you under arrest for the murder of twenty-three people, including ten children. SAM YAO: You’re what?! TRAVIS: You have been tried and found guilty in absentia. The sentence is death, to be carried out immediately on your return to Abel. Category:Mission Category:Season Three